Mine for now, forever-atleast that's what I thought

Can you imagine anything more beautiful than sleeping in your loved once lap and looking into her eyes. Well I ( I is narrator of this story, not yours truly ) can't. If heaven happens anywhere, it is there. It feels like those 2 beautiful eyes are the only thing on the earth to look at. They are full of love and care for you.

Yes, that is exactly what I was doing, sleeping in her lap with my eyes glued at hers. Telling about her, she was so beautiful and type of girl you would look at her face first then noticing other part of body. A well sculpted face, with her head covered by silk like hairs, which you start doubting if they are real or not- if ever you get chance to tough them ( i was lucky bastard to do that ). I think when god created her, he had only pink color in hand. There were only few part of her body which were not pink ( which I am not interested to list here ) and lips were unprecedented winners. A perfect looking nose just fit well between those big sharp eyes and her pinkest lips.

 If we talk about rest of her body, I can say she can put menka on shame with her curves. I am sure even oldies with no testosterone left in the body will not miss looking at her. Overall, she was angel, inhuman. And I was lucky enough ( bastard -that's what other thought of me )  to have her as my loved once.  I was meeting her after 3 fucking months. That was the longest I was away from her in our 4 year relationship. Passing a day without seeing her face was like deadliest thing I can imagine, and here I had to spent 3 months. 90 fucking days. Thanks to cheap phone calls, I at-least had privilege of  listening her sweet voice. But you never get enough in love, not to mention sex included. 

So this was it, I was on cloud number nine. There was lot to talk about, but that can wait. We had more important things to take care of, and soon we were out of our clothes. Our body just craved for each other. we crushed each other totally, and our body got drained of any energy it had at the end of it. We did passionate love that day, got wild. It was raw sex, but it was among the best love making season. the one you remember as loving memory and not just as lust after years. And what more you want from life, when most beautiful girl you have ever seen is your girl-fiend. Just the feeling of having her is so exciting.

I whispered in her ears, "I love you more than anything on this earth."
she, "and I love you more than you love me".
me, "really?"
she, " yes, I cannot imagine myself without you. you are the best thing in my life. Just don't leave me ever or I  will die crying for you". with a hint of tears in her eyes. I knew she mean it. She really love me more than I do.
me, "ohh come on honey, God forgot to create beauties after you was born. So do not worry, I have nothing better to leave for. "
No matter how many time we repeat the same conversation, it always feel fresh. We were mad for each other, and nothing can separate us. Nothing.

-----------------------------****---------*********---------****--------------------------------------

Someone just punched me out of no where. And I heard a loud laughter, a boy was laughing at me. It felt like he is about to kill me with that laugh. I was out of sense, just sat there numb. My mind stopped thinking or doing any work at all. Soon I had nausea, my hands were trembling. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears in my eyes. there was blood, anger and pain. A lots of pain. With every passing seconds, the pain and the laughter were getting heavier. I just kept staring at that screen. I didn't believe my eyes then, I still can't. That was the ugliest truth I have ever faced. It felt like it is better to get killed than reading this. It was not making any sense.

How the hell can this happen?? and why? why ? and why?
and then it followed by every Q starting with W.
when? where? why?

there was her mail box open in front of me on laptop. And one of the chat box read:

Rishabh, " I loved those 2 days at Abu"
Trisha, " me too, you were best. :wink: "
Rishabh, "Oh thanks, means there are others also?? just kidding "
Trisha, "you were my first. No others."


After 10 deadly minutes I was back to somewhere near consciousness, and only word that came out of my mind was "Slut".

P.S. True story, planning to put more detailed posts later. 

where the life is heading

Was just reading my old posts about MBBS, and my eyes popped out of my eye sockets. ( No need to call dear, I am just joking ) How the hell I wrote all those things?? Feeling nostalgic even though I never liked being student of MBBS. And that's enough to make me write after like a 100 years. Yesterday just watched Rockstar. Cannot say superb awesome movie, but still I liked something about it. Maybe the attitude of Jorden towards the society. Something I also wanted as one of my character.  Above all the sad tome of film made me love it. It can be the reason I am writing this post today.

Photography stuffed made me so busy these days that I even forgot that I have a blog. This time no planning about writing reg, because I am very bad at keeping promises ( beware girls :P ) . Lets see....

When I remember being student of 12th, going to tuition school on my khatara luna , the first thing which comes into my mind is, IS that hard work paid?? IS MBBS worth this hard work? Today I am about to make my steps in professional photography, ( do you know my photographs will be featured in femina wedding special issue?? :( you should have known this ) I ask this Q to myself, what if I had taken admission in Eng?

Something in life always haunts you, NO matter how hard you try they remain with you . Dream of becoming Eng and Going to IIMA is the thing for me. Looks like I have 0 chance of doing any of it. But at-least when one day I will be working as pro photographer I will be happier than the docs I studied with. I always dreamed of doing something creative, something different, something just like that...hope is with photography now.

Will say bye bye now...But before I publish this post I will like to say one thing. 8 years back, I used to write diary- same time, same season ( winter nights with cold breeze blowing ) I feel like I am young again ( waise abhi itna bhi oldie nahi hua hu ) 

Is current Lokpal bill strong enough to protect the citizens??

Today I read in TOI editorial section that the lokpal bill introduced in the parliament on Tuesday hardly focus on the protection of whistleblower and citizens from the corruption of which on bureaucracy is spared of. We cannot afford to let him be unhappy, visit to police station and government offices are next to hell. In such a situation rather than focusing on the including prime minister under lokpal bill what common man want from the representative of the common man is to give attention to the issues which have more impact on the protection of citizen from the corruption. Even RTI act don’t provide enough protection to the activists. In 2010 only 10 RTI activists were murdered. These ruthless corrupt people also get police support to execute such heinous crimes. I have heard from thousand of mouths that we should better act, but when the policy makers are determined to lock your hands how is it possible for us to raise it against corruption? I wish the anna team better focus on such issue rather than trying to give sleepless nights to the ministers and politicians. Will copy the sentence here from news paper “the best is often a sworn enemy of the good”

What boys hate as boyfriend from their girl friends

This post is basically for boys, but if by any chance if the subject did not offended any girl, she will get some life saving tips out of this post. Intention of this post is pure fun, but I really don't care if I am hurting someone. This is my blog and I am not famous enough that news channels like "ab se tej" "aaj ki taja chai" start including me in their news bulletin in case my shit is not yellow or I forgot to zip my pant. So I am enjoying the freedom to express. 

Everybody fall in love at some point of time. If someone says, No I haven't. beware of him/her you have just meet the biggest liar available on this planet. Actually truth is opposite of it, nobody even fall in love with such guy/girl. Reason can be anything from ugly look to "I am the best" attitude. 

So How your love story started does not matter, it follows same path once it is started. Girls start acting like a boss, she don't like if you don't allow her to talk too much with other boys-because they are just friends when a little hint of any other girl in your life can make all the hell break. So much is talked on this, you can watch "pyar ka punchnama" for better understanding of "what happens once you are in love relationship" 

1. As we doctors often say ( which is hardly followed by anyone) "prevention is better than cure" You need to act smart when you are in the phase of "pataying" the girl. Yes girls expect you to fulfill all the day dream you showed her to attract her. So beware before you say, I can do anything for you. Don't get shocked when she don't allow you to watch movie with your bachelor friends, go out with them for food.  But affection is such a blind thing, you cannot resist saying all cheesy things to her. It is like a sweet for diabetes patient. You just want it, no matter what long lasting effect it have on you. 

2. "where are you?" a delay of 5 min in reply and you are gone. what the hell yaar??? didn't she keep you on waiting for 30 minutes when you asked her to meet? or didn't she took her time to reply to your early massages during the phase of "we are friends what to do now? " come on tell her, she is important for you.  but that does not mean you are not engaged in other work. Your mother loves you more than her, but how many time she scold you for delay in reply? you cannot even remember when such thing happened last time. Make this clear during your falling in love phase. Once you are in relationship, her expectation from you will sky rocket.  But at the same time, you also have to give her some space. In short, forcing things upon each other never works in any relationship. 

Just be yourself at every phase starting from friendship to marriage. Never try to present yourself as someone very good and caring. If by default you are like that it is good. But if you are not don't make an effort to show yourself as " I can give my life for you". let her fall in love with "real" you not "fake" you. Later you can always blame her " I am like these always, you should have never fall in love with me" :P 

Love is to increase the happiness in life. So any thing apart from it are side effects of love, some of which can be avoided. Girls come with one very big problem. They tend to ask questions you never have answer for. You love me more or your mother?? what will you do if I am dying and only if you give your heart I will able to live life. ( this is a warning, start finding other girl, she really want you dead) go to hell, what kind of question are these?? Do I look like a politician?? when they will need an expert committee to answer these questions. Make sure by telling her that you hate all such emotional things, so if she is smart enough she will never ask you these questions. 

3. You are not allowed to say anything against her family, not even against her "puppy" or those best buddies from her school days who have nothing else to do except irritate people like you by keep calling your gf and promising her which you cannot give her. At the same time she can say anything about your friends, your cloths and even about you. 

Here is something for girls, Yes it hurts very much when you start getting close with other boys. For you it can be "just friends" but you dont know how painful it is for boys. And yeah inscribe the next sentence in your mind, Do not ever try to compare your bf with your other friends. Believe me we boys never compare our gf with any other girls. Once we have a gf , she is everything. Comparing her is out of question. It is you girls who first compare us with other boys, and then come up with problems like, he used to do this for me why can't you do it for me??  Yes he  did it for you, because he is a boy and You cannot ignore the fact that maybe he also want to be your bf. He can also have liking for you and yeah if he has done something which your bf cannot he have not done any great thing. He have to do it once, while your bf is always there for you doing all things for you starting from sending you "miss you love you " massage to ride thousands of kilometers just to see your face. So a little help from someone start making you compare your bf with what someone guy, you don't deserve to be in love. Yes, if he is so nice why don't you fall in love with him in first place. 

I am taking the risk of offending some of my very good girls as friend with this post, but girls take it easy... I love you (like I hate you). If after reading this someone can still love me, I am sure I will not face above mentioned problems. 

Ahem!!!

I love making fun of others, you can do same with me. 

Why Indian should not be given any financial aid by world bank

Food and Drug Capacity Building Project

 Procurement officials appeared to have employed favouritism when awarding contracts to bidders that failed to meet performance criteria while disqualifying other bidders that apparently met, or could have met, the criteria. In addition, the DIR found potentially fraudulent documents submitted by winning bidders, such as forged performance certificates, that, in some cases, were corroborated by complaints by other bidders.

   

Typically, contract awards are based on the bid evaluation report (BER) and recommendations of the Bid Evaluation Committee (BEC) under the auspices of the project’s PSA. Yet, for at least three tenders of equipment, the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare (MOHFW) installed a special steering committee comprised of MOHFW officials, officials from the PSA, and technical experts to review bid submissions and recommend bid awards. The DIR found that the steering committee’s evaluation of bids frequently differed from that of the BEC and exhibited indicators of non-transparency, preferential treatment, and other corrupt and inconsistent practices. Further, the MOHFW always followed the steering committee’s recommendations, repeatedly overruling the BEC (It clearly shows how corrupt our officers are. It is because of you Ch**** and BC people we have to pay this much tax and pay 60+ rs for petrol. How on the earth we will develop if such corrupt practices keep going on)

The DIR found that substantial payment had been issued for almost half of the contracts where equipment was undelivered, delivered in a damaged state, or delivered with missing parts. Nonetheless, despite these implementation deficiencies, in some cases the PSA provided contractors with completion certificates that allowed full payment for unfinished or deficient work. ( yeah they sure will provide completion certificate, otherwise how on the earth they will get the money promised to them )

Orissa Health Systems Development Project

Implementation of the OHSDP’s civil works and equipment components also exhibited significant indicators of fraud. For civil works, the DIR, aided by a civil engineer, visited 55 project hospitals; at 93 percent of them, it observed problems like uninitiated or incomplete work, severely leaking roofs, crumbling ceilings, molding walls, and non-functional water, sewage, and/or electrical systems. Four hospitals were locked shut and entirely unused. (And they blame doctors for not treating patients in rural area. Tell me who will like to work in such work environment. You bastards want to eat all the money and when you don’t get results you come up with statistics showing lack of doctors in rural area. That way you allow more private colleges to set up new medical colleges and allow them to offer these private management seats to common middle class Indians at very high prices ranging from 20-30 lacs.) Yet the construction management consultants (CMCs) who supervised the work certified 38 of these hospitals to be complete to project specifications, and in February 2006 the Orissa Department of Health and Family Welfare (DOHFW) reported that work at 45 of them was complete. The DIR reviewed the project documents for 21 hospitals and found 10 cases in which the DIR’s field observations directly contradicted the CMC’s completion certifications.

For equipment, the DIR, aided by a biomedical engineer, inspected equipment at project hospitals and identified 17 types of equipment that violated project technical specifications, including five types of equipment that were hazardous. These units were procured from firms whose bids either omitted required technical compliance certificates or contained certificates that appeared fraudulent. The DIR’s review of the Orissa Auditor General’s OHSDP audit reports identified weaknesses in the project’s financial management and recordkeeping that created a risk of fraud and corruption. The audit reports did not provide a timely, complete, and transparent review of project expenditures—so much so that the Bank is still awaiting audit certification of more than USD 30 million in Bankreimbursed project expenditures.

Second National HIV/AIDS Control Project

The DIR’s review of the NACP II found:

1. indicators of corrupt practices in contract awards to NGOs, such as fictitious NGOs receiving contracts and government officials receiving bribes, (hello, gov is busy drafting jan lokpal bill, how can they take bribes :P) as well as a lack of meaningful controls for tracking disbursements to NGOs;

2. Deficiencies in the implementation of test kit and blood bank equipment contracts, such as poorly performing test kits and non-functioning equipment;

3. indicators of fraudulent and corrupt practices in the procurement of diagnostic test kits and blood bank equipment—particularly when conducted through decentralized procurement—such as similar bid prices and affiliated bidders; and

4. that while the Bank observed and initiated action on some issues subsequently identified by the DIR as indicators of fraud and corruption, its observations and actions were not always timely and not classified as possible signs of fraud and corruption.

The DIR received reports from

NGOs that procurement officials demanded and received bribes in exchange for awarding contracts to NGOs. The DIR found that many NGOs that received project contracts were not qualified to perform HIV/AIDS prevention services, and some did not even exist. (I am not shocked though)

The DIR’s examination of the implementation of diagnostic test kit and blood bank equipment contracts revealed a number of problems. Regarding test kits, the

DIR found that some of the test kits supplied by particular companies often performed poorly by producing erroneous or invalid results, potentially resulting in the further spread of disease or in the wastage of blood. (AIDS control karne chale ham....how the hell we will control this disease when we don’t even have a proper kit to diagnose the disease)

The DIR also reviewed 217 locally procured contracts, valued at INR 118 million (USD 2.6 million), and found that 82 percent by number and 88 percent by value contained one or more indicators of fraudulent and corrupt practices.

(a) similarities in the language and presentation of competing bids; (b) separate bidders with the same phone numbers and addresses; ( isn’t this a slap on our face??? These fucking assholes have no respect for our country; I am ashamed to call myself Indian now) (c) the award of contracts to firms that did not submit bids; and (d) substantial recordkeeping deficiencies.

Same issues of fraudulent, corruption, bid rigging are noticed in Tuberculosis Control Project & Malaria Control Project.

This is it. Web world is full of ongoing corruption and scandals exposed recently, but no-one have made any effort to bring these issues which are going on since long time. This is just an attempt to make everyone aware about, how poorly projects and programmes are implemented in India. Will new laws, janlokpal bill able to cure these problems? And even if we find people responsible for corruption and law, the main point is will the money recovered? If money cannot be recovered on time, anyone on the earth will do corruption in open. If I am getting crore at the cost of few years in jail, why don’t take a risk?

Here is the link of original document if anyone wishes to read it in details. I got really very depressed after reading it. I wish, I was born somewhere else and not in India.

Link -http://www.u4.no/pdf/?file=/document/literature/WB250_Vol1_Web_011508.pdf